I’m Focused, Man!

“Let me give you some unsolicited advice”, says a friend. I’m listening, she continues “try not to focus to much on getting married and he’ll come around, worry about other things” Well she didn’t exactly say that verbatim but its close enough. All of two minutes later another friend tells me “don’t focus on it, when you don’t talk about it, that’s when they are all over it”. Both of these convos were via gchat. I guess because my status at the time read “every kiss begins with Kay… Hint hint”. Because of my status and my behavior lately I suppose I understand the need for these ladies to tell me to redirect my focus…suppose being the operative word. I’m hard-headed, I do what I want! If I want to spend my free time planning a wedding before I’m even get engaged…. LET ME! Who am I hurting? I’m the epitome of a daydreamer, a fantasizer, its what I do! I live in la-la land! I know the truth and the status of my relationship, but honestly wedding planning is fun for me, what woman doesn’t dream about her big day? I have FOUR women in my circle getting married, how could I NOT think about it? I’m accompanying them to bridal shops, giving my opinion on invitations, helping decide on styles and themes, and I’m not supposed think about my own….right! I believe what my friends were telling me is that I’d only end up pushing him away if I’m constantly smothering him with wedding talk. Of course that’s not what I want to do. And honestly, I’m not doing that. In fact I think I have fallen back a lot on the whole thing. I do however go into wedding overload with friends, but hey that’s what girls do. With him the conversation is minimal, I make jokes here and there about us being engaged but I no longer try to bombard him with questions about our “imaginary wedding”. I know I’ll be engaged before the end of 2010. As for the wedding.. Well that’s currently a debate, mainly because of financial reasons. But I’m going to trust that God will take care of it. If we start doing things right, I know we’ll be blessed. But back to the topic, I’m focused. I’m focused on my happiness. Of course there are other things that could use more of my attention, like a new job, getting my license, and losing 50 pounds, but those things aren’t “fun” to think about. So after I’ve exhausted my mind with that stuff, I look to wedding planning as a refresher. At this point, my “planning” is merely looking in magazines and on the web at dresses, no harm in that. The minute I start trying dresses on and ordering swatches, then I’d be doing the most. To say the least, I’m just making sure I’m prepared……..

Oh look what came in the mail today… my Washington Post Wedding Planner insert BBM excited face lol.