The End or the Beginning

December 22, 2009:

While driving home, we had a discussion. The result, we are no longer together. Our almost 5 year , live together, raising a son, relationship is now over. It went something like this

Me: “you dont want to be with me anymore”

Him: “I need to be free before I get married”

Me: “well be free then, I’m tired of being the only one fighting for this”

Him: “this is what’s best right now, neither of us are happy”

So yeah. I guess that means this blog site no longer has a purpose huh? I sit here now, days before Valentine’s Day wondering, WHAT THE HELL! How do you throw all of it away? I’m not sad, I’m kind of hurt, but really I’m numb. What’s next? Do I have to start the dating thing all over again? Another 5 years of being someone’s girlfriend? SIGH… The whole thing is complicated still, we live together! In June we will go our separate ways, but geez how do we make our lives work peacefully until then.  We have already had some pretty explosive nights. But, I will not succumb to depression, whys and what-ifs, its over and I must move on. June 1st will be the beginning of my independence and I am totally looking forward to it.

One Response to “The End or the Beginning”

  1. ashenbliss Says:

    It seems as though we went through this simultaneously. I am not married. I’ve lived with my boyfriend for a year and a half, but we’ve been together for seven. It hurts… to know and understand that the person you wait for can walk away so easily and not turn his back.

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